April 2013
1 post
1 tag
Coffee on things
I now have enough free time to start trying to write here about proper, important things, but this is really all I could come up with.
I don’t know why there are coffee stains on:
my desk
my windowsill
my hairdryer
my bedroom door
my carpet
two blouses inside my wardrobe
my MA dissertation
I don’t recall any of this happening.
March 2013
2 posts
drinkyourjuice:
Sometimes you’re 24 and scrolling past something with 97,000 notes for the sixth time on your dashboard today and growing slowly homicidal in the way where no one’s death is immediately imminent but where maybe one day you’ll be 45 and drive your children into a lake.
February 2013
4 posts
5 tags
One joke that will never stop being funny
Is taking a thing that is obviously not yours and saying it’s yours from home, like this:
The only videos I could find of the specific clip were in German and there were about 15, but all only in German, WHY?
Stuart Heritage: HOORAY! IT'S PANCAKLENTINE'S DAY! →
stuartheritage:
Note: Pancaklentine’s Day only occurs on the day between Pancake Day and Valentine’s Day. For the day between Valentine’s Day and Pancake Day, and the day when Pancake Day and Valentine’s Day occur simultaneously, please see Valencake Day and Vapanlencatineke’s Day respectively.
…
3 tags
I am a successful and functional adult.
Over the past few weeks I’ve watched all of the episodes of Scrubs (apart from ‘season 9’, if you’ve seen it you know why.) I’ve compiled a list of the funniest clips from Scrubs, as decided by me.
I’ve genuinely spent ages on this. Don’t pity me, I’ve enjoyed it.
[[MORE]]
It’s a hip-hop world son
Best comment on a YouTube video...
When my friend tells me that married people have...
myfriendsaremarried:
January 2013
2 posts
1 tag
SNOW BLOG
Just to continue the theme of writing about nothing of any importance, here are some questions I have about snow.
Does today’s snowfall justify taking pictures of other people’s houses or is that still unacceptable? I don’t want to, but I have seen other people do it and I was wondering.
Can I legitimately take a picture of a snow covered postbox and compare it to a snowglobe I...
5 tags
Suggestions if you're stuck for a New Year's...
A lot of people make New Year’s Resolutions. It usually involves giving up something you enjoy, such as smoking, sitting down all day, shovelling salted butter down your throat or murdering hitch-hikers. The thing about resolutions, though, is that they’re doomed to fail. It appears that the reason for these pledges, is to try and extend your lifespan a little so you can spend your...
December 2012
2 posts
2 tags
Christmas Adverts 2012: A Festive Round-Up
I have a lot of other, more productive things to be doing, but I’m sitting in front of the TV instead, switching between Bargain Hunt, E4 and the Crime Channel, writing this, when I actually have more pressing things to be writing. I’m telling myself it’s because I’m deathly ill and there’s no way I can attempt to translate the Russian State Archives when my eyes and nose feel like they’re trying...
5 tags
Whistlestop Tour of the History of Women through... →
Although evidence for its historical evidence is scant, there are various traces found in early account; folk tales; and linguistic artefacts that are of important consequence to the history of women in Russia…
November 2012
1 post
October 2012
2 posts
4 tags
I don't think the workers of the world uniting is...
So. SO. Gideon had a few ideas about welfare reform, termed in some pretty handy rhetoric that’s actually a gulf away from reality. It’s the old Victorian tale of the idle poor again, and not an awful lot has changed, except the unemployed, assumed drunks with large families aren’t just passed off as Catholics this time, and the single, unemployed young people not living in their parents’ homes...
3 tags
There must be a word in some language for:
The rebellious camaraderie shared with the person on the other side of the street upon the tacit agreement to commit to a danger cross before the lights turn.
The sense of profound yet misplaced injustice over being prevented from reaching the end of Rihanna’s We Found Love by a faulty laptop battery
The split-second of involuntary mutism and subsequent croak that follows running into an...
August 2012
5 posts
5 tags
Rape is still a crime if...
Hey! George Galloway. Julian Assange. Todd Akin. Western media (tired of naming people now). I’d like to remind you that rape is still a crime under all of the following circumstances:
You are a footballer
The victim gets pregnant from it
You are a superhero
You say yes
The victim is asleep
You get to make the laws
The victim has said yes, to something, at some point in their life...
Olenska: Yekaterina Samutsevich closing statement... →
olenskae:
Yekaterina Samutsevich’s closing statement in the criminal case against the feminist punk group Pussy Riot:
During the closing statement, the defendant is expected to repent or express regret for her deeds, or to enumerate attenuating circumstances. In my case, as in the case of my…
4 tags
Writing about Writers' Block.
For someone who is trying to scrape a living together out of mindlessly pawing at a keyboard and scribbling illegible notes, I really hate writing. I am without doubt never going to produce some timeless masterpiece that alters our understanding of life, death, humanity, and/or the heart. For one, I’m too committed to the “and/or” paradigm for that to happen.
I’ve never...
The New Library: The Birthday Letter →
the-new-library:
This, by Erika Paget, is really really beautiful.
July 2012
3 posts
Stop banging on about the sodding Olympics
If you’d asked me a week ago whether or not I felt anything for the Olympics but a hollow and bleak sense of resentment that there is probably only a word in Russian for, I’d have screamed ‘NOOOOO’ at you until tears streamed down both of our faces. I despised every pathetic aspect of it: the mindless, unashamed corporate sponsorship deals; the ticketing system that tried to charge Muamba £1600...
June 2012
3 posts
Some things that give me anxiety that probably...
I haven’t posted anything for a really long time, because I get paid to write bile about politics for the next couple of months. You will be able to find all that at Glipho, at some point. Since I can’t post any of that here for a while I thought I might go back to writing about the minutiae of my life that you probably don’t care about. THUS. I hereby update the list I wrote...
“I’m one of those people who lives in constant fear of being found out as not any...”
– Charlie Brooker. This must be the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard about writing. (via jakec)
Ha. Haha. Hahahah.
(via whydoihaveablog)
The Queen is Dead, boys.
IT’S THE JUBILEE THIS WEEKEND!!! Did anybody know? It came to my attention a couple of days ago; I saw one or two flags plastered all over every single thing I’ve come into contact with. Needless to say I’m not a fan. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s completely tasteless for state and capitalist alike to celebrate hereditary privilege and an anachronistic,...
May 2012
5 posts
8 tags
GREECE SAVES UP TO BUY MOON
Disclaimer: This article is automatically retracted in the event of the Eurozone’s collapse and subsequent mass starvation. Some/all of the following may not be true.
Speculation is growing that, contrary to the conventional wisdom that Greece’s membership is in danger following massive financial meltdown, the country is actually secretly fucking loaded, and plans to make a bid to buy the Moon....
5 tags
David Cameron, Champion of Cool.
I’m not going to lie, catching up with the Levenson Inquiry isn’t something I’ve quite got round to yet. Ask me what the whole thing’s about, and once I’ve mumbled something about ‘press standards’, I’m reduced to singing the hedging noise symphony through a scarf. You might as well ask a cardboard mask of Jedward. I mean, I KNOW it’s important, and I KNOW why, but this whole grubby,...
Let's not make-up history yeah?
After insisting that all women hate her for being beautiful, international super-beauty and villain Samantha Brick has struck again, this time claiming that some women, such as historian Mary Beard (initially attacked by acid-tongued TV critic and dreadful shitbag A.A. Gill) are “too ugly for TV”. According to Brick, anyone who seeks out an on-screen career, is laying themselves open...
April 2012
3 posts
4 tags
If a penis went to public school; and Kony 2012...
If a penis went through public school education and could dress and style itself, it would most likely end up resembling Boris Johnson; an unthinking, testosterone-driven, caddish buffoon who, inexplicably, was elected mayor of the Capital. Clumsily offensive and hopelessly prone to scandal, some of Boris’s ‘best bits’ so far include offending the whole of Liverpool in one fail...
6 tags
The irony of a blog complaining about oversharing.
When did sharing stop being a good thing and start being absolutely unnecessary and actually quite sinister? I mean, obviously in some ways sharing is still a good thing. No one likes the toddler who doesn’t want to share its toys; it’s always nice to share our opinions and experiences with friends; and sharing wealth by not letting certain members of society pay themselves obscene...
7 tags
Is the Hunger Games something to do with the Pasty...
I’m starting this with a confession: I don’t know what the Hunger Games is. For the past few weeks, I’ve been vaguely aware of this film coming out, that everybody already seemed to know about and be excited for, and I’d never flipping heard of it. I pretended, for a while, that I knew what all the fuss was about. And when I say that, I mean I nodded blithely along to...
March 2012
4 posts
5 tags
Solving Problems with Nuns, Dog the Bounty Hunter,...
Theoretically, the introduction of ‘competition’ to the NHS will improve its efficiency and quality of services. As Charlie Brooker noted, if the businesses behind this competition acted as selfless nuns, this could potentially be the case. This raised an interesting point; what would happen to the world if other issues were addressed with things that they never would be addressed...
4 tags
Getting bogged down by the little things.
I recently had an epiphany. I had just handed in a piece of coursework, when the secretary mentioned that she was going to need to find a bigger paperclip, since my submission was “weighty”. My heart stopped and my blood ran cold (in short: I panicked). “Is my essay bigger than all the others?” I asked, and for some reason, this was funny to unnamed-secretary AKA my nemesis. But...
9 tags
Thoughts on KONY2012.
Over the past couple of days my Facebook, Twitter, and news feeds have all been inundated with people imploring me to watch a 30 minute film by the US charity Invisible Children, about the crimes of LRA leader Joseph Kony and the plight of the child militias in his ‘employ’. There has been the initial flurry of ‘activism’, the backlash, and the counter-backlash already. So,...
February 2012
5 posts
5 tags
I'm Really Funny.
If a tree falls in a forest, but no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? And if a woman makes a joke and a man fails to laugh, is the joke still funny?
I am hesitant even to acknowledge the topic as an issue, as I’m unsure as to whether acknowledging this will perpetuate, or confront a stereotype I’ve come face-to-face with, with increasing frequency. I’m...
6 tags
In which I refuse to become Carrie Bradshaw.
On paper, Carrie Bradshaw’s life is pretty great in most ways. And when I say most ways, I mean two ways; she lives in New York City and writes for a living. But I have a huge issue with how she spends the rest of her life writing about her failed relationships as if people actually care, and working herself into a seizure over clothes, because that stereotype about women is, like, totally...
5 tags
Here is the progress I have made on my New Year's...
If you recall (which you probably don’t), I had decided to set myself the reasonable and achievable New Year’s Resolution of “reinventing myself”. I thought I’d let you know how I’ve got on now January’s over.
This was the behaviour I was letting go of:
Locking myself out of my house, at least once every six weeks. Particularly when drunk, because, oh...
January 2012
4 posts
4 tags
I feel like it's about time I wrote a serious...
And that serious piece probably shouldn’t take the form of a list. But I really don’t feel like it right now, because I’m super tired from my 12-hour library day. So instead, I’m going to write about:
Things I would like to be real, that aren’t actually real.
Bernard’s Watch. Yeah. He had a watch that could stop time. I just spent 12 hours in the library...
5 tags
Things I'd rather be doing than writing my PhD...
Because every time I’m actually required to do something productive, my mind starts to cry and I impulsively grapple for anything that will distract me from said task.
Actually read the books I’m referencing in my Literature Review. Because one of the main things about this proposal that’s causing me to freak the flip out, is the fact that I’m not entirely sure what...
7 tags
Is it too late for New Year's Resolutions?
Because I heard that talking about the New Year was FORBIDDEN after January 6th. I don’t know, maybe that’s not true. We’ll see.
Anyways, I decided not to stick to the usual overambitious, generic resolutions everyone makes, and subsequently fails at. Things like:
Losing weight! (Cutting out an entire food groups is definitely the BEST WAY to achieve this. It’s not like...
10 tags
Top 10 Irrational Fears
We all have them. Life is scary. The key is accepting that the minutae of life (stickers) are the most threatening.
#10 That I will be discovered to be a psychopath
- I think the fact that I lack the hyper-rational, calculative qualities of logic psychopaths have, and that I cry every time someone on TV does a good deed, more or less rules this out. But I’m frightened I’m...
